The Real Reason

So. Yep. That’s the real reason I haven’t really been blogging. Not because I don’t have all that much to say. Although, for most of the last four months most of what I’ve had to say is that I’m freaking exhausted. And I couldn’t have been this exhausted when I was pregnant with Rose, right? Because I was working thirty hours a week. And going to school. And student teaching. And I would have remembered feeling this tired, right? And then I remember. Maybe I wasn’t so, so, so tired. Maybe I could keep my eyes open. Maybe I did work, go to school, and student teach. Maybe I only got five to six hours of sleep on a good night. Yeah. Maybe all of that. And maybe I wore myself out. And maybe it was not right for my body and my baby. And, yeah, maybe it was the only life I could live at the time. But maybe that life exhausted my body so much that my baby decided to try to vacate the premises. Maybe I didn’t feel worn out. But my body did. So at thirty-two weeks I was instructed to go home, get in bed, and stay there for five to six weeks. And you know what? I went home and I slept. I was exhausted. So, yeah, this time, maybe I feel crazy for being so tired when all (said sarcastically)  I have to do is chase my one year old around. And I feel insane that when she goes down for her nap at ten in the morning, I crash out on the couch or jump in bed. But you know what? Maybe this time I won’t land myself in bed for months. We’ll see.

My main point is that for a little while, Rose would go down for her morning nap and I would blog. And I would clean. And cook. But for the last couple months, when Rose naps, the only thing I want to do is nap. So I haven’t been blogging. My house has been a disaster. I can’t remember the last meal I made. And now. Well, now is that “magical” time in pregnancy when I don’t completely feel like I’m going to die at any second. At least that’s what ‘they’ say. ‘They’ just forget to mention that while the second trimester might be the easiest trimester, you are also STILL FREAKING PREGNANT. And that sucks. At least for me. I know there are a cracked few of you that love being pregnant, and that’s cool. I wish I could be like that. But… nope. So, lately, I haven’t been blogging. I’ve been bitchy cranky. I’ve been sick. I’ve been tired. And my body really isn’t mine. But. Baby number two is coming in September 2013, and I’m thrilled. Because as much as I have being pregnant, I love being a Mom, and THAT lasts much longer than the discomfort of pregnancy. More details to come (if I’m awake, that is…).

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Ten Things About My Weekend

* Edit: Just like last Monday, I forgot to give the post a title. Why is this becoming a pattern?

I feel like it should still be the weekend. I guess for some people; the lucky ones that Martin Luther King Day off, it is, but not for us. Since I’m still in weekend mode, here are ten things about my weekend.

1. I ate beans and rice for at least three meals this weekend. So did Rose.

2. Rose’s diapers were pretty ripe, due to #1.

3. Speaking of my dear daughter, she has decided that she will be taking one nap a day instead of two. Darn.

4. I took two, very, very long naps.

5. I only wish I had taken two very, very long runs as well. I did not.

6. I went to Target twice.

7. I went to Costco once.

8. We didn’t do any ‘normal’ grocery shopping. Meals this week will be fun.

9. I stayed up until 11:30 watching SNL. I’m so glad I didn’t stay up later. It was not good.

10. I read 25% of Gone Girl. I think I just reached the part where it gets really interesting. Or else I’m just missing something, since everyone says that they couldn’t put it down.

Epic

I wish I did this over the weekend. I didn’t. And I don’t have the guts to. Random…

Let’s Have Coffee

Hi there, whoever you are. This post is inspired by this girl, and her “virtual coffee date” posts. I love them. They are fun to read, and make you feel cozy; kind of like a favorite book (is that weird?). So, without further ado, go pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea, if that’s your deal) and sit with me. Got your coffee (or tea, wine, energy drink, water, whatever)? Good. I have a few things I need to tell you, like;

I actually took a picture for this post. Of my coffee in front of the computer. Creative, yes? But then I tried to upload it onto my husband’s computer (that we all use), and I couldn’t. I searched for the cord. After trying two, and of course the right one was the one I used last, I realized that something wasn’t working. Probably my lack of a technology brain. So, sorry, no picture of my coffee. Also, I couldn’t get the Playstation remote to charge on Monday, which meant I couldn’t watch Downton Abbey. So, yeah. Win one for technology.

I want you to know that some days I feel like I have this Motherhood Shit firgured the fuck out. And some days? Holy geez, some days I get all up in my head, and by the end of the day I’m all; “OH MY GEEZ, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? WHY DID THEY LET ME OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH THIS BABY? SOMEONE WAS SERIOUSLY NOT PAYING ATTENTION TEN MONTHS AGO! I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING.” Today is one of those days. Yesterday I had my shit together. Today; nope, not at all. What am I so worried about? Naptime; when do we switch to one nap a day? And can we avoid that? I rather enjoy nap time these days. Another worry? Weaning. We’ve moved down to three nursing sessions a day, but is that okay? And is she getting enough food? It was so easy when all she needed was the boob. And when I knew that half her food wasn’t ending up in the dog’s mouth. Any advice?

You should know that, the reason for the naptime questioning is that yesterday she napped for almost three hours during her morning nap. When I put her down for an afternoon nap SHE WAS NOT FREAKING AMUSED. She did not sleep. Eventually, I took her out of her crib, got in our bed, and after some fighting it, she took a thirty minute snooze on me. It was so sweet because she never sleeps with me anymore. So. Freaking. Sweet. Plus; I got a nap too- EVEN SWEETER.

Oh, right, that’s why we never nap together. And why we don’t co-sleep.

The third thing we need to talk about? The fact that I am so confused about Rose’s first birthday. I am actually having a mild anxiety attack about it at the moment. Living in this Pinterest world as we do, I see so much crazy stuff that mothers do for their children’s first (and second, third, fourth, etc.) birthdays. I totally make fun of it. Like, all the time. My sister-in-law and I laugh about it on a daily basis (practically). And yet… I really, really, really want her to have a picture perfect first birthday. Because doesn’t she deserve it? And don’t I? And, I mean my mom always had adorable birthday parties for us… don’t I owe it to her to make a perfect party for her only grandchild? The only problem (besides the fact that every free moment from now until March 2 will be spent on this party) is that I am notoriously non-crafty. In my family, we all have our thing that is a source of ridicule. Mine is all the craft projects that I started, only to give up in complete frustration partway through (yes, family, I know, I remember the cross-stitch candle incident). Or I would get bored with said project, and abandon it for a much more enticing endeavor, usually reading a book. So, my lack of craftiness will be a problem. I mean, should I even bother?

             

Sorry. I couldn’t stop at just one. I have issues.

One more thing. And this is really, really a  serious issue. I can’t wash our sheets because the dog is always on/ in our bed. And she looks so comfortable, and I just can’t move her. I’m not that mean dog owner. No, I’m the dog owner that lets the dog have the run of the house. Dog Whisperer, Shmog Whisperer. Whatever. That wasn’t even funny.

Yep. We let this happen. Every. Single. Night. This is the real reason we can’t co-sleep.