Lately, this blog has been lacking in, well, posts. Which, I know, kinda takes away the point of having a blog. As always, life has gotten in the way of writing, and that’s okay. I certainly have a lot I can write about. I have a lot I WANT to write about. What I want to write about takes more courage than I think I have at the moment, and I think I will leave it for another day. Today, I want to go back to a subject I kind of addressed in this post (actually, now that I’ve written it, it isn’t really related… oh, well). Except, instead of Pinterest, today I am annoyed with Facebook. Keep in mind, I adore Pinterest, and although apparently all the cool kids have moved onto Twitter, I still spend a good amount of my life wasting time on Facebook. Perhaps it is because of how much time I spend on Facebook that I have come to become insanely annoyed with certain people. So, although I know that this will irritate some of you, I also know we can all relate. And, even though these are things that drive me totally freaking bonkers, I have to say, I am guilty of nearly all of them, in some form or another. Here is a list of things that people do on Facebook that drive me CRAZY:
– The daily status updates in November that people post about how ‘thankful’ there are for things in their lives. “I am so thankful that I have a warm place to live.” or “I am so thankful for my husband. He is the most amazing man in the world.” Barf. Seriously. The first one? It just makes everyone feel kinda bad that they aren’t thankful, and, what if someone doesn’t have a warm place to live? Ouch. Way to brag about your way awesome life. You know, with your warm house and amazing husband.
-Related to number two above: why do people have to post about their spouses all the time? Why do they have to say what an amazing person they married TEN TIMES A DAY?? Obviously you think your spouse is amazing; isn’t that why you married him or her? And, seriously, do you really find your spouse that amazing ALL THE TIME? That sounds EXHAUSTING. Seriously, I want to strangle my (amazing) husband about twelve times a day. Perhaps these posts are to remind themselves NOT to commit domestic violence on the person they love. Yeah, that must be it. And, if not, can you PLEASE stop posting about your amazing spouse and relationship? It makes me feel like a bad person.
-The posts that claim that people are having “the worst day of their life.” Really? You have a ten page paper for the grad school that your parents are paying for, you got a flat tire and AAA took twenty minutes to get there, and then (the real doozie) Grey’s Anatomy was a RERUN????? Poor baby. Maybe it is because I literally had the worst day of my life a few weeks ago, but suddenly, I am just so sick of these complainers… And, yes, I realize I am basically sitting here, being a complainer. Deal with it.
-And, the absolute WORST: when people play out their entire relationships in their Facebook status updates. It is especially bad when you are Facebook friends with both parts of the couple. Here’s what happens: they start out like in #2: they love their significant other so sososossosossoso much. OMG. Disgusting. Barf. Then, apparently, they get to the part where they kind of want to strangle them, and the posts about how much they love each other aren’t doing the trick anymore. So… they get in an argument in real life, and then, somehow, they have the energy to play the whole thing out on Facebook. I imagine these folks argue with their phones in their hand; “You are so stupid. Don’t ever, ever talk to her again. I know you like her, okay? So, just stop.” Then, before the other can come back, she holds up her finger, and types; Beethoven is such an asshole. Hello?? Hasn’t anyone heard of NOT talking to their ex-girlfriend’s mother??? Then, the fight continues, with poor Beethoven trying to defend himself, both in person; “Babe, whatever, its not a big deal, please chill out.” And, in Facebook; GRRRR. Women. All I wanted was some chili. Ex gfs mom made me some. Can I help it if she has nice legs? Then, of course, the best part are the comments; Oh, giiiiirl, I feel ya- put that man in his place. He has no idea how good he gots it. And, his friends: duuude. She was a MILF. I’d eat her chili any day. Tell that biotch to back it up. This argument is, of course, fictional (I hope), and it goes back and forth until all parties are so tired of the whole thing that they get off Facebook, go eat some chili, sleep, and then wake up, and the cycle starts again; I am sooooooo lucky. Beethoveen is the best man in the whole worldddddddddd. He went and got me breakfast (a loaf of bread and peanut butter- YUM!!!!!) I just love him so much, and I am so THANKFUL that I married this amazingggggg man!!!
Alright, I’ve got to stop there. Rose is waking up from her nap, and I’ve probably annoyed each and every one of you. SWEET. Rest assured that there are many, many, many more things that annoy me about people on Facebook. These are just the things that have annoyed me in the last thirty-four minutes.